Hello, hello and welcome back 😊
Today, I thought we’d dive into the world of essentialism, a philosophy that has transformed my life alongside minimalism. Essentialism is all about focusing on what really matters and eliminating everything that doesn’t. It’s not so much about having fewer things (that’s more the minimalist’s job) but about ensuring that every aspect of your life is executed with intention.
The Core of Essentialism
At its heart, essentialism is about intentionality. It’s a mindset and philosophy that encourages you to be deliberate about where you spend your time, energy, and resources. This means saying No to the unnecessary and Yes to the things that align with your values and goals.
To make it more impactful, here’s the first tip:
Turn it into a “Hell, yeah!” and a “Hell, Nooooo!”
Essentialism found its way into my life when I was recommended the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown a couple of years back.
Having already practised minimalism (check out the blog post HERE), essentialism immediately struck a chord with me.
In the past, I was always the person with a very unhealthy helper syndrome, unable to say No when I really should have. That put me in a real pickle a few times, and I took heavy hits, especially financially, when I supported friends who could have managed on their own.
Additionally, not being able to say No drained my energy to the point where I experienced my first burnout.
To adopt the mindset of the essentialist, you need to be willing to learn to say No. You can start this at any time - right now, for example.
It’s the weekend as I write this, and that’s quite often a time when people come and ask for your time and energy. When someone commands you (it’s not a question, and you know those people. We all have them in our lives): “Let’s go out tonight!”, but you really don’t feel like it today - learn to say No. It takes courage, but the reward is massive.
Saying No has the following effects:
You repel people who do not have your best interests in mind, but only their own.
You earn respect for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries.
You earn respect from yourself (no joke, that’s actually what happens).
You shed that heavy feeling on your shoulders and heart that builds up when you say Yes to something while your whole being screams Nooooooooooooooooo!
Frankly, the last point is my favourite. It feels utterly epic and amazing and builds more strength and courage for the next time you say No to something.
With this first step, I was then able to expand the mindset to all areas of my life: health, other relationships (I’m sorry, Aunt Myrtle, but you cannot stay. I have plans for the weekend. You understand, don’t you?), and my passion for my lifestyle.
The latter was especially difficult but the most rewarding. I was surrounded by people who were not aligned with my values, but “for the sake of it,” I sold my soul to fit in with them, only to be battered down by their mindsets and prejudices every freaking time we met.
You can imagine how rubbish that made me feel, can’t you?
The moment I stepped up for myself and stopped meeting with them, saying No, I shed them one by one and gained more people who align with my values and thinking.
While I was one of two vegans in my entire acquaintance circle before, I suddenly had a whole bunch of them in my circle. But the real point, and the underlying theme here, is different from just the veggie POV:
It’s the respect of people and the respect for yourself that changed the relationships and the people I’ve met.
I have a lot of “carnivores,” as I call them, in my circle - but we all respect each other for our preferences and never try to convert each other to a particular lifestyle.
This also enabled my carnivore friends to LOVE my food, as they see it’s still extremely yummy and feeds the soul, even though it’s vegan-tarian.
I also don’t have any problem admitting that the one thing I still miss after all these years is bacon. Grrrr! 🤣 Every time I walk past a shop that serves bacon, my mouth waters, and for a split second, the question of “Why did I become vegan again?” crosses my mind. Bacon is my kryptonite, so to say. (But! I never give in to that urge!)
You see, becoming an essentialist has a truly widespread effect on everything further down the line in your life.
While we cannot always be essential (e.g., in workplaces - it's baffling how much decision clutter flows around there, isn’t it?), we can apply it to pretty much all areas of our lives where we have control.
Write your to-do list - apply essentialism:
Does this contribute to my goal?
Is this really necessary today?
Is this the right thing to do now?
Organise your life with your partner:
Do I want the teabag in my sink all day long?
Does this benefit our shared goal?
Does this help our relationship today?
Dealing with invites and events:
Do I have the energy for this today?
Does this serve a purpose toward my mindset? (e.g. when you’re an introvert and your extrovert friends want to go to a rave)
Don’t I have other family members where Aunt Myrtle, who always stinks of mothballs, can crash? And doesn’t she have enough money for a hotel room, that stingy old hag? Cough 🤣🤣🤣 (Hey, maybe I can charge her! I mean, she uses my resources, doesn’t she?)
I cannot stress enough how liberating becoming an essentialist is.
Now, go and try it out. Next time someone asks you something and you are about to blurt out an automated “You must like me”-Yes, hold your tongue and ask yourself if it’s really beneficial to you.
When the answer is No, politely decline (or, between friends: Nope! works GREAT), and feel that amazing energy of freedom spread through you. You will remember that, and the next time you need to say No, it will be much easier.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
By the way, if you are in a position of saying No to a client and setting your boundaries, it will be even more delicious. The feeling of having stood up not only for yourself but for the whole business is invaluable and simply epic and sets you on a path to finding the right clients for you.
And with that, I bid you farewell and have fun saying No.
With love, compassion, and courage,
Heike
The Sustainalist
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